We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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