Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
