I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
