I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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