Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My balls are so social today.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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