Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
