Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
