Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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