He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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