He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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