I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
