He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
