then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
