so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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