I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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