why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
