im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
