Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My dick has a subreddit
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
