hell yes lets make some ravioli
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
