party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
