Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
