we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
