actually, I'm a sock model
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
