okay pat passed out under dana's car
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
