Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
