I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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