smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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