im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
