He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
