Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He passed out mid-signature
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
