"it" just moved
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Randomize
