I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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