goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
