Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
