In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
