It's Friday. Sex?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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