Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Text me some of your sweat
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
