yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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