You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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