I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
