i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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