the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
