I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
they call him Oral-B. enough said
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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