wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
