I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
