That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
