haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
