that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize