haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
