bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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