He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
