She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
