Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
